New Scale on Order

Just last week I was telling my children at the dinner table, “getting a new scale is something that I have been wanting to do, but as priorities go, its just not that high on the list.”  My bathroom scale, although I have long maintained that it was inaccurate, has been tracking me at losing approx. 1 pound per week.  Although I always thought the exact numbers were wrong, I had to at least believe the measurement was right.

Of course, there is no scale that is broken as badly as the one at my Doctor’s office, which consistently weighed me in at 10 pounds over what I knew my actual weight to be (of course there were the factors of the nurse that can’t wait for the weight to balance and the fact that when I am at the Dr. weighing in, I am fully clothed).

Well, if you have not figured it out by now, the reason I am making this post is because the need for that new scale has just made it to the top of my list of priorities.  Why?  Well after consistently weighing in at one pound less for weeks, (due to good dietary habits– definitely not due to exercise because aside from my necessary walk to and from bus stop I get absolutely none) I stepped on the scale yesterday and weighed in  with a GAIN of SEVEN pounds from last week.   This was after having calibrated the scale to zero!!!!  I immediately grabbed the laptop and started looking for a new scale.

Can you say paper or plastic?  Looking for new scale was no easy task.  The best ones of course, from what I read, were in the $200 range.  Most of the ones between $200 and $100 were pretty yucky and had bad reviews.  Then there were the below $100 scales– now we’re starting to talk.   Of course then I found the below $50.00 scales… yeah baby!  Now you’re singing my tune.   It was quite obvious that if you went below twenty dollars, you pretty much got what you paid for.  Well that was my problem last time!  So I settled in and read review after review and paid close attention to the number of reviews each got.  Almost bought a scale that had all 5 star reviews for 19.99!   Then I noticed it had been reviews by ONE customer.  Well, he/she could have been right on, but I wasn’t taking my chances.

I finally settled on a scale that was mid-range between the 20’s and 50’s with a gazillion 5 star reviews — and yes it did have a few bad reviews too.  But the good far, far outweighed the bad.  I can go with those odds.  I settled on one of the LCD scales with numbers big enough for blind eyes to read.  Yes, the scale pictured in this post is the one that I bought.

I also had the sort of sad reality that once I am satisfied that the new scale is accurate, I’m going to have to accept whatever it says.  Oh MY!  Well ’nuff said.  The new scale is on the way and a new era in weight loss is about to begin!  Stay tuned for the progress— hopefully more forward than backward!

Increased Water Intake

I spent $1.53  the other day for a water bottle and it was the best dollar and a

half that I have ever spent.  It doesn’t look like it, but the water bottle is 1.1 liters.  For those of you don’t know metric are are not as accomplished in metric conversions as I am, that’s 37.1954 ounces.   OK, so I didn’t know it either and had to use an Internet conversion program.   But at least I knew where to find one!  LOL! 

I learned after the first day that I must be done drinking by 2:00 in order to not have any tense moments along my 90 minute commute.  Whew that first day was a close one!  The increase water intake is supposed to help with a number of things including weight loss, appetite suppression, back and joint problems and cleansing your system.  You should note that up until this point I probably had about 16 ounces of fluid per day, if I was lucky  and most of that at home.  Now I have my 16 oz mug of coffee in the morning, immediately followed by the 1.1 Liters (remember that’s 37.1954 ounces) of water, followed by a 16 0z bottle of water at lunch and usually 12 – 16oz. of juice or milk (sometimes soda or sweet tea) with dinner.  I’m almost ready to try and try getting 2 1.1 liter bottles of water down before lunch, now that I seem to be drinking faster, but I”m JUST making it to the bathroom as it is, so I may wait a little bit on that.  I will probably go and buy another jug for home that I can sip on throughout the day.   I used to wonder why my wife made so many trips to the bathroom.  Well she guzzles water all day long and now I know what kind of effect that can have on you.    I’ll probably start adding water consumption to my charts (which are in dire need of being caught up).  If I let it go long enough I can just start charting again and forget the ones that I missed. LOL!  (hmmmm sounds like a plan!)

Frequent “Fly”er miles

Well the diet is progressing nicely, but with the increased water intake during the day (more so in the early part of day, the latter end of day produces “traveling issues) I am making increased — and I mean increased— trips to the bathroom.  I have never been a big water drinker, but I do recall that every time I have (successfully) dieted, water played a big factor.  (Sure can’t beat a nice cold cup of sweet tea though!)  Anyway, back to ranch….  With all of my walking up and down the hall all day long, I must add 2 miles (no exaggeration) to my daily walking!  The frequent need to empty the bladder is just not something that I am used to.  I’m liable to get carpel tunnel form operating the zipper so ofter (hence the frequent “fly”er reference).  Oh well, I guess its all part of the process.  Onward and upward! No, I’m trying to lose weight….. Onward and DOWN-ward!  

P.S…. don’t worry, I’ ll get those “missing” progress tracking entries posted!

A Few Humorous Diet Tidbits…

This cartoon appeared in Investor’s Business Daily

And a couple of other things that I thought were worth a little laugh this morning……

ITALIAN PASTA DIET – IT REALLY WORKS!!

1) You walka pasta da bakery.
2) You walka pasta da candy store.
3) You walka pasta da ice cream shop.
4) You walka pasta da table and fridge.

You will lose weight!

CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on
nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Progress Tracking June 2 (Day 8)

Progress Tracking for June 2, 2009
Morning Weight:	195.  Going down, down, down, down, DOWWWWWWWWWWN! )
Waist Size:	Ask me on Saturday!
Breakfast:	1 8 oz. cup  of Hot Chocolate 1 Bagel with 1oz cream cheese 12 oz. Water
Lunch:	Trader Joe’s Pad Thai 5 Vanilla Cream Cookies 12 oz. Water
Dinner:	1 Taco 1 12 oz cup of Homemade Lemonade (Yum)
Exercise Today:	Approx 3 miles walking 20 Deep knee bends 2 sets of 3 six to 90’s 15 pushups 15 crunches with knees bent 20 Toe-Tummy touches 10 repetitions up and down 1 flight (12 steps) of stairs. Back Stretches
Midnight Snack:	None so far

Today’s Diet Humor

Once again brought to you by Daniel Worona

1. When no one understands you, chocolate is there.
2. Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.
3. I am not overweight. I am chocolate-enriched.
4. Einstein was eating chocolate when he came upon the theory of relativity.
5. The 12-step chocoholics program: never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!
6. Life without chocolate is no life at all.
7. I want it all!!! And i want it smothered in whipped cream and chocolate.
8. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.
9. There is nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.
10. Chocolate doesn’t make the world go around. But it certainly makes the trip worthwhile.
11. The best things in life are chocolate.
12. Q. How many calories are there in a piece of chocolate?
    A. Who cares?
13. So much chocolate. So little time!
14. I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love.
15. Do not disturb: chocolate fantasy in progress.
16. The best over-the-counter prescription to perk you up is chocolate.
17. Don’t send me roses, unless they are chocolate!
18. There are two food groups: chocolate and fruit. And if it is fruit, it should be dipped in chocolate.
19. There is no chocolate’s anonymous because no one wants to quit.
    
20. Who says chocolate isn’t a food group!!

Progress Tracking June 1, (Day 7)

Progress Tracking for June 1, 2009
Morning Weight:	196 and no longer wavering )
Waist Size:	No bigger, no smaller.  Sounds good since I didn’t measure.
Breakfast:	2 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts. 14 oz. Mug of Coffee with Cream and Sugar
Lunch:	1/2 pound of pasta salad with onions, pepperoni, and Italian dressing. 2 Pear fruit cups. 10 oz. Water
Dinner:	medium helping of Macaroni & Cheese 1 small slice of Spam
Exercise Today:	Approx 3 miles walking 20 Deep knee bends 2 sets of 3 six to 90’s (increase) 15 pushups (increase) 15 crunches with knees bent 20 Toe-Tummy touches 10 repetitions up and down 1 flight (12 steps) of stairs. 100 repetitions of bicycle (new) Back Stretches
Midnight Snack:	None so far

Todays Diet humor

Today’s diet humor again brought you by Daniel Worona

1. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.
2. Diets are for people who are THICK and tired of it.
3. People go to Weight Watchers to learn their LESSENS.
4. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
5. THE FAST DIET: If you are thin, don’t eat fast. If you are fat, don’t eat– FAST!!!
6. The best way to lose weight is by skipping… skip the desserts… skip the snacks… skip the sodas… skip the SKIPPY. (edited)
7. DIET JOKE: Try my wife’s new recipe for diet meatloaf… Don’t worry, you won’t eat much..
8. Gravity brings me down.
9. One should eat to live not live to eat.

10.  Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

11.  God must love calories because he made so many of them!

12.  Life is full of ups and pounds.

13.  Having a perfect body isn’t difficult… It’s impossible …until the rapture

14.  Dieting is the penalty for exceeding the FEED limit.

Progress Tracking (Day 6)

Sunday is a day off from the normal Humor pieces that I will post as often as possible. However, I can’t get away with NOT posting the diet progress for the day. So here it is:

Progress Tracking for May 31, 2009
Morning Weight:	196 and wavering— the wrong direction )
Waist Size:	Didn’t bother to check.
Breakfast:	20 oz mug of coffee/hot chocolate mix.
Lunch:	2 McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers Approx. 1 small fry equivalent 12 0z. Apple Juice
Dinner:	1 “slice” leftover Sausage Pizza 12 oz. Ginger Ale 3 small (really small) Lemon Cream Cookies
Exercise Today:	Back Stretches Lower back toning exercises Didn’t want to over do it today!
Midnight Snack:	None

Progress Tracking (Day 5)

Progress Tracking for May 30, 2009
Morning Weight:	196 and holding )
Waist Size:	No bigger, no smaller
Breakfast1:(Men’s Prayer)	1 glazed donut 6 oz coffee with cream and sugar.
Breakfast2:	1 serving scrambled eggs 2 slices of toast with butter 10 oz. Orange Juice Still Hungry
Lunch:	.75 Pounds of Pasta salad with onions, ham, pepperoni, and itialian dressing. 12 0z. Orange Juice
Dinner:	1 hot dog with gulden’s mustard 8 oz. 2% milk
Exercise Today:	15 Crunches with knees bent 20 Deep knee bends 10 times up and down one flight (12 steps) of stairs–non stop. Whew! Out of breath again!. 10 Push ups 2 six to  90’s Run in place for 4 minutes (Very challenging with a 5 year old “helper” who kept moving into my path) 20 Progressively faster Toe Tummy Touches Back Stretches
Midnight Snack:	One Large Apple Fritter, and boy was it good!  No more of those for a month!

Diet Jokes for May 30

Today’s diet jokes courtesy of  http://danworona.50megs.com/

1. The SUBWAY SANDWICH DIET doesn’t work!
I have not eaten anything but one Subway sandwich a day for a month and I’ve gained twenty-two pounds! Not only that, those six-foot-long Subway sandwiches are really expensive!!!

 

2. Q: What do you call a person on a diet who loses twenty-five pounds in just one month?
A: A liar. 

 

3. Diet puns: AMAZING NEW WEIGHT LOSS DISCOVERY!!!
Daniel Worona’s famous PIG EAR SOUP DIET.
It is EAR-RESISTIBLE!
(Yummy! It will take you BREADTH away!)

 

4. I saw a poster advertising a lecture  to be given by a world-famous nutritionist on EATING PROBLEMS. I said to myself: HEY, I DON’T NEED THAT. I DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEM EATING!!
(I do it all the time.)

 

5. Diet and Fitness pun:
Some people trade TIT-FOR-TAT;
healthy people trade FIT-FOR-FAT.
(If you sit, you ain’t fit.)

 

6. I GAVE UP DESSERTS!!!
(It was the worst twenty minutes of my life.)
 

7. Diet Advice by Daniel L. Worona:

When I say: Instead of YO-YO DIETING, try HO-HO DIETING. I am not talking about a steady diet of “HO-HOs and Twinkies.” I am talking about HO-HO’s as in HA-HA!

 

 

8. Dieters are very “NARROW-MINDED.”
 

 

9. DIET DROPOUTS are “BROAD-MINDED.”

 

10. Q: Why did the MIDNIGHT SNACKER gain so much weight?
A: Because he couldn’t see how much he was eating.

11. DIET & EXERCISE JOKE
Two overweight women were walking home from work, and they began talking about their schedule of activities for the evening. “I’ve got an idea” said one. “Let’s flip a coin. If it lands on heads, we’ll go get a cheeseburger. If it lands on tails, we’ll go to get a pizza. And if it lands on its side, we’ll go to the gym to work out.

Progress Tracking for May 29 (Day 4)

Progress Tracking for May 29, 2009
Morning Weight:	196!!! (No, I’m not pulling your leg and I even made sure the scale was reset and as accurate (ha! Ha!) as possible. )
Waist Size:	N/A today, I’ll check it tomorrow
Breakfast:	1 Bowl of Apple Cinnamon Ceral w/6 oz. milk.1 6 oz. cup of apple juice
Morning Snack:	1/4 cup of raisins and peanuts11 small yougurt covered pretzels (9 is the serving size, but 11 is my favorite number )12 oz Water
Lunch:	6 inch Subway Club on honey  wheat(w/lettuce, tomato, jalapeno, onions, and sweet onion dressing) 8 oz. Hawaiian Punch 5 Vanilla cream cookies
Dinner:	1 “slice” homemade pizza8 oz Ginger Ale 1 Lemon filled donut 6 oz. 2% milk
Exercise Today:	15 Deep knee bends, 10 times up and down one flight (12 steps) of stairs–non stop. Whew! Out of breath again!. Approx. 3 Miles walking Back Stretches
Midnight Snack:	None today so far! Woo Hoo!

Today’s Diet Humor

1. I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.

 2. Whether you want to be thick or thin IS A MATTER OF TASTE!!!   

  3. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end! 

 

4. Q: What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?

A: It never eats. 

5.  There are two things you should never eat before breakfast:   

Lunch and  Dinner
 

  6. Humorous Button:CAUTION: Hungry Dieter, may bite if provoked! 

 7. Relish today.  Catsup tomorrow.  

 

8.   It’s not the minutes spent at the table that put the weight on, its the seconds.   
9. A diet is when you have to go so some length to change your width

10. Diet slogan: Take Charge!  Don’t be large!

 
11. By the time I’m thin, fat will be in.
 
12. Dieting is wishful shrinking
 
13. How can I go on a diet?  The refrigerator is still full! 

 

 14. Skinny people make me mad!!! Especially when they say things like, “You know sometimes I forget to eat.” Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.15. Complaining about dieting and exercise burns off extra calories. 

 

 

16. HANDY DIETING TIP:  Carrot cake coutns as a serving of vegetables,

 

17. Weight-loss tip: Shake the salt habit.

 

 18. Hungry monster anti-diet: 
I’VE GOT AN EATING PROBLEM!!!  (I can’t get enough!)
 

 19. Q: What do you call an overweight monster?
A: OBEAST.  

 

Fat Spam

Where is all of this e-mail about weight loss coming from?  I had to be be getting it all along, but, until recently, I have not noticed how much SPAM I get that has to do with it.  The latest one came this morning to my work e-mail.  It was an offer to lose 45 pounds in three months and I don’t have to spend a dime!  Right!  They don’t mention the price you have to pay to get their information, which is probably something that every0ne could have done themselves anyway.  There were several weight loss offers that came to my home e-mail yesterday as well.  I coudln’t believe it.  I feel like I’ve been labled! LOL!

From now on, I think I’m going to chronicle these e-mails as I see them come in.  Don’t worry… I’ll only be posting the subjects lines, no links that I have to worry about being responsible for.  I’d love to know who sold their mailing list since most of these folks seem to know my first name (which is impossible to derive from just about every e-mail address I have).   Oh well it will be a good source of humor for a while… and original too.  Stay tuned for those subject lines.

Progress Tracking, May 28, 2009

Well I did say that the format would be changing in the beginning until I actually get what I want, so here is a format change.  Do send comments about the format too.  That would be very helpful to me.  I’m going to be bold and post this before the night is over in hopes that I won’t have to change any of these stats…. well, at least not in a negative way.

Progress Tracking for May 28, 2009
Morning Weight:	198 (Come on, you’ve got to be kidding me.  This is day 3 already! )
Waist Size:	N/A today
Breakfast:	1 Bagel with veggie cream cheese16 oz. Orange Juice
Lunch:	1 Trader Joe’s Kung Pao Noodles12 oz water 9 Vanilla cream cookies (bad boy!)
Dinner:	1 chicken pot pie10 oz Orange juice
Exercise Today:	15 Deep knee bends5 Push ups 10 Crunches with legs up 2 six to 90’s 10 times up and down one flight (12 steps) of stairs–non stop.  Whew! Out of breath. Approx 2.5 miles walking (got picked up by a neighbor to get me out of the rain ) Back Stretches
Midnight Snack:	None today so far! Woo Hoo!

Lazy Dieter’s Exercise Program

1. Beating around the bush.
2. Jumping to conclusions.
3. Climbing the walls.
4. Swallowing my pride.
5. Passing the buck.
6. Throwing my weight around.
7. Dragging my heels.
8. Pushing my luck.
9. Jumping on the bandwagon.
10. Running around in circles.

May 27, Day two…. still going strong

Watch out!  I’m on a roll!

Weighing in today at  198 (still!)  What’s the deal with that I’ve been on a diet for a full day now!

Waist:  Not measured (only once a week.  Waist not, want not I always say. LOL  Oh, wrong waste.)

Breakfast:

Pretty meager this morning:  2 small bannana muffins (no butter)

approx. 6 0z. coffee with cream and sugar.

Lunch:

Approx. 1/2 pound of Pasta salad (very bland and dry) with Italian dressing.  If I want to continue to lose weight, this Pasta salad is the way to go.  Not very tasty at all!  It may be leaving my fridge soon!

approx. 12 oz water

5 vanilla sandwhich cookies (1/2 of what I normally eat!)

Dinner:

2 baked chicken legs with onion slivers

2 medium cobs of corn

1 small chocolate brownie

1 12 oz cup sweet iced tea

Exercise:

5 push ups, 10 crunches with legs up, 2 6 to 90’s, 15 deep knee bends.  Walking Approx 2 miles. (Got picked up by a friend on the way home)

Late Night Snack: None!  Woo Hoo

Something New to try!

May 26…. Let the truth be known!

Well here we are at the real beginning of the diet now.  Ever wonder why diet begins with “die?”  I think I’m figuring that out.  OK, so here’s the scoop for the day….

Weighing in today at: 198

Waist in inches: 39.75

Breakfast:

2 Egg sandwhices (2 slices of buttered toast [per sandwhich] with one fried egg [per sandwhich])

1 glass (approx. 12 oz.) of Orange Juice (from concentrate )

2 Cups (approx. 8 0z. each) of Coffee with cream and 2 tsp. sugar/per cup

Lunch:

Apporx. 7 inch Ham and Turkey sub made with love by my wife.

(Note:  These are her exact measurements for the meat…)

2 Slices of Ham

4 Slivers of Turkey

Lettuce, Tomato, onions and Mayonnaise (lightly on both sides)

Approx. 12 oz. of Apple Juice

Dinner:

Spaghetti and Meatballs (medium sized plate), light on the sauce

1/2 of a 6 inch whole wheat sub roll (yes, with butter)

12 oz. milk

2 banna bread muffins (yes with butter on top)

Late Night Snacks:  NONE!  Woo Hoo!

A few fat jokes…. Gotta stay light hearted

If you are offended by fat jokes, then I suggest you don’t read these, but personally, I’m posting them as an incentive for my self and as an effort to keep this challenge as light hearted as possible.   That being said….. There may be more to come!  For the time being… here is round one!

1. I wouldn’t say you’re fat but when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house!

2. You’re so fat when you went to school you sat next to EVERYBODY.

3. I wouldn’t say you’re fat but you have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone directory.

4. If hot air makes a balloon go up what’s keeping you down?

5. What times lunch, and is there any left after you eat?

6. You’re so fat that you could be in the movies and play crowd scenes all by yourself.

7. Is it alright if I sell your underwear to the circus? I hear they need a new tent.

8. I wouldn’t say you’re fat but you have more pounds than the Bank of England, and I ain’t talking about your wallet.

9. I wouldn’t jump up and down, you could cause an earthquake.

10. I hear the local restaurants are serving all flavors of Slimfast.

11. If you went on a diet two undeveloped nations would have enough food to eat for a year.

12. Is that your stomach or did you swallow a beach ball?